Liberation: Breaking The Chains To Survival And Freedom.
“The first morning of chemo I was a nervous wreck. Reality was smacking me in the face along with the fear of the unknown. My whole body was chilled to the bone, from my fingers down to my toes. I felt like I was strapped to an anchor, and every step was as heavy as lead. ‘I can’t do this,’ I th…ought. ‘I can’t go through with this.’
I can’t go and have chemo. Maybe I can cancel it, or avoid it. But how? I had no choice.
I went through all the motions of a typical morning, which kept me busy enough to hide the desperation, even from myself. My insides churned as my eyes grew wider than normal with anticipation. Panic, anxiety and fear of the unknown all rolled into one huge ball. Caught in this sinister shark’s mouth, chemotherapy was now inevitable and in a few short hours I was to go through it. Just as I had thought I was ready, I wasn’t. I was petrified.
Yesterday, I had cancer. Today, I was a cancer patient, whatever that meant.This would be a day I would never forget.”